I cannot even imagine the number of times I’ve been asked this question in the 22 years of my life. And I haven’t had the chance to actually sit and contemplate what this question really means.
Does it ask me whether i am happy in general or in that moment or just this neurotic person who is insanely bright beam of happiness that lights the lives of people.
Well, if you were to ask me if i was happy, I assure you that the answer would be, “No”.
You know why, because just being happy is not satisfying enough. Striving for something that is way beyond your reach or fixing the broken pieces of someone who is beyond repair, making a melody out of their broken shards, painting their monochromes to colour, living as life comes to you, raw and undone, that is what counts for living and not just searching for happiness in this meek world.
I know that being happy is a choice but sometimes life makes you stand at a cross-road wondering which to choose, the one that will lead you to your happiness or the one that will lead you to something beyond the mere concept of being happy.
If you take this world and remove the happy from it, all there remains is realness. All the people without the masks of pretense. That’s what happiness has come to in this world, a false belief that a person has to have a smile on his face to survive.
No, the world was not built by bunch of people smiling, it was built by survivors. And how do you think people survive in this world? By smiling? No, by finding it in them to face this masked world with their bare, scarred faces.
It does not mean that i don’t have my moments or i don’t enjoy being alive and being around the people that make my heart flutter, it just means that my life shall not be a journey towards something which is not and will never be a destination.
Happiness cannot be termed as a destination which one has to work towards in his life, instead happiness is this trifling moment that passes us by so quickly that we cannot even hold on to it.
Don’t get me wrong I don’t have anything against happiness or people who’re genuinely happy in their lives, I just feel that this word has been given so much importance that when faced with any minute hitch the person loses the ability to believe in it.
So, if you ask me whether I am happy, the answer shall always be a no because, happiness is never that ever-shining bright star, it’s that meteor that occurs rarely but is worth the wait.