March 2016

Does Time Really Heal It All?

I’ve heard people say time heals it all yet I lie here in my bed at 1:27 a.m. thinking about the hurt and the pain that came my way.
All the unmade apologies, the open ended questions, the broken promises lie next to me while I keep pondering over what time does or doesn’t do.

I’ll tell you what time does, it makes you accustomed to the pain and hurt you once felt so deeply it made you reach for your gut and pull it out. It makes you believe that you’re over it yet it sneaks behind you at nights you’re the most vulnerable.
What time does is lighten the pain but it never removes it entirely.
What it does is, it helps you forgive. But can you really forgive if you cannot forget?

If time heals it all, I should have been a completely new person by now but my scars still show, though they’ve stopped stinging but they’re still present there.

What time does is create a Frankenstein’s monster of all the excruciating pain, of all the past memories and relationships, of all the broken dreams and of all the distress caused.
How we deal with that monster is up to us. Do we let him in? Do we shoo him away?
Time doesn’t stand still to watch us deal with the monster. Time keeps on creating new monsters.

One thing I can say with utmost surety, if time was supposed to heal the pain, we would all be keeping our watches really close to us.


A Strand of Hair


So, I see her sitting beside me with her hair falling on her eyes
Eyes that make the stars go dim and eyes that put the moon to shame.
How I wish to remove that one strand of her hair from her eyes to get a clear look of the world that resides in them.
The world of her pain, which I want to feel as deeply as she does.
The world of her happiness, where her laughs echo in my ear.
The world of her wishes, which I strive to fulfill.
For every tear she sheds, I want to be there to give her, her share of smiles.
She is the guiding light to every time I go astray.
She is the whole universe, with stars for eyes that turn into supernovae when she looks at me.

So, I don’t just see her, I see the whole universe in her, sitting beside me, struggling to put that one strand of her hair behind her ear.

I See You


Dear lover (who wasnt there, ever),

I see you.
I see you in bed that I sleep in, the pillows have conversations with me about you.
I see you in the coffee mug that kisses my lips the first thing in the morning. How I wish it were your lips that I was kissing.
I see you in the fields I run through, the soft grazing of the grass on my skin feels familiar, reminds me of your touch.
I see you in the dried up leaves by the tree, the same tree we sat under and kissed. The leaves have dried leaving me lifeless as well.
I see you in the water droplets of my shower, washing my pain and agony away.
I see you in mirror, looking back at me, telling me I am beautiful besides my insecurities.
I see you in the cold Autumn breeze, running a chill down my spine every time.
I see you in the frost collected on my window. Standing there, waiting for me to wake up.
I see you in the night, shining bright, guiding me through your light.
I see you in every gray eyes I see, staring right back at me. Asking questions, leaving me with no answers.
I see you in every guy wearing a blue shirt, I knew it was your favourite.
I see you everywhere you aren’t supposed to be.
I see you where ever I see.
I see you even when I don’t see.
I see you.
Do you see me?

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