I finally figured out why am I so perturbed lately. Why my mind is in such distress and I cannot get anything done. Why do I sit and stare blankly at the sky as if waiting for the answers to the questions I didn’t even ask.
The problem is the speed at which this life is moving. It’s moving so fast that I cannot stop and catch a breath. There are so many things to be done, so many places to visit, so many people to meet, but life is moving like a fast moving train, leaving everything hazy. Its like this life is a labyrinth which i have entered into and I have no way out. The labyrinth keeps changing and I have to change my ways with it without thinking of where I might end up. I need time to figure out where I want to go and how I want to reach there and I want this life to give me enough chances to do that. But lately I feel as if I’ve been running out of chances. Everything that life throws at my way has a string attached and it pulls it back as soon as I come close to grab it. Every time I stand on a crossroad about to cross it, two more roads emerge and I am stuck there without knowing where to go. I need time to sit and talk, not about my goals or ambitions. I want to sit and talk about what makes the stars explode and what place serves the best cheese cake. Don’t ask me what I want to be. I don’t just want to be one thing, I want to be so many things. Don’t ask me where I want to go from here, I dont have one place, I want to explore this damn world.
I need this life to stop for a minute. Take a pause. Rest. For I am in no hurry to exist the labyrinth just yet. Not without doing the things I want to and definitely not without knowing how the stars explode and getting a bite of the best cheese cake.
Take a moment. Pull up a chair, take a deep breathe and repeat after me.
Today I shall live for me. Today is the day I shall let go of all the people who’ve hurt me and all the hurt that I’ve caused.
Today I shall not hold onto the bitterness of life but instead embrace all the good things it throws my way.
Today I shall wipe off all the tears those lost years caused me and smile wide open for the ones yet to come.
Today I shall not crib about the people I’ve loved and lost but be grateful for the ones I still have in my life.
Today I shall laugh till my stomach hurts and hope that this laughter is never lost.
Today I shall smell all the flowers, dance in the rain and jump in the puddles, well because I can.
Today is the day I’ll think of when I look back at the age of eighty and think that’s where it all changed.
All you need is the courage to accept who you are and how you are going to spend the rest of your life. You get to choose if you want to let people in or not. You get to choose if you prefer regrets over “I cannot believe I did that”.
You get to choose how you want to deal with the hurt people have caused you. You get to choose your happiness and the people you want to share it with. Hell, you get to choose what movie you want to watch and whom you want to watch it with. You get to choose everything in your life.
You get to choose and you get to choose it today.
At the end of the day it all comes down to how you feel. You need to stop minimising your feelings in order to comply to the notion of what “should” and “shouldn’t” be felt.
If you feel hurt or wounded, you have every right to shed all your skin, close all the doors and heal yourself the way you want to.
If you feel betrayed, you have every right to eliminate all the toxic people from your life. People often confuse being emotional for being weak. No, you need to show them that you have the power to wipe off those tears with one hand and wring their necks with another.
If you feel broken, remember that everything that is broken can be fixed, all you need is a right hand to fix it.
If you ever feel like the world is a place where you dont belong, you have every right to escape it the way you want to. And remember that we were never welcome here.
If you ever feel like your insides will never stop churning, remember that it’s your body and you’ll find peace exactly where you find chaos.
Most importantly, if you feel ecstatic you have every right to go to the tallest of the buildings and scream at the top of your voice.
It doesn’t matter if your feelings make sense or not, who’s to say? You have every right to feel the way you want to. You need to understand and believe in what you feel. Because despite of what you may believe, you don’t need anyone’s validation or approval to feel what you feel.
What you feel matters.
And no one has the right in this world to convince you otherwise. Not even your own self.